Groping Toward God

Every Sunday we hear three passages of Scripture and a psalm. I wonder how you listen to it? Do you listen carefully trying to understand the meaning of each passage? or do you let it flow over you listening for a few words to stand out? or do you just marinade in it, not too concerned about making sense of it all? I think I do a bit of all three.

This morning as I let it flow over and through me, there was one phrase that stood out. I was struck by Paul saying, “he made all nations to inhabit the whole earth, and he allotted the times of their existence and the boundaries of the places where they would live, so that they would search for God and perhaps grope for him and find him—though indeed he is not far from each one of us.” 

I love the idea that God put different people into specific times and places “so that they would search for God and perhaps grope for him and find him.” Last week Canon Katherine reminded us that we beloved of God and we are enough. This seems to take that idea a bit further. We are the people whom God has called to be here in this time and place – the people of St Peters by the Sea in Morro Bay in 2026 – and God has put us here so that we might ‘search for God and perhaps grope for him and find him.’ And if we are the ones who are called, we are up to the calling, we are enough.

I can’t do much without my glasses and the first thing I do in the morning is to grope for them. I love this image of us groping for God – in the fog of the early morning myopia, we search blindly for God. And God has placed us in a time and a place where we might be successful, where we might find God. These are difficult times. They are difficult times for all creatures on our planet. And our hearts are broken by the pain and suffering we see. And our minds are frustrated by our sense of helplessness. Yet this is where God has put us so that we might ‘search for God and perhaps grope for him and find him.’ And this is where and when God has placed us so that we might show God’s glory and love to the world.

Jumping now to the gospel reading, we are not alone in this time and place. Jesus promises his disciples that although he is no longer physically present, they will still know him. And that promise is for us as well. The Spirit of truth is with us and in us and around us and teaches us about God. Teaches us about God not in a dry academic sense but teaches us to inhabit our place in the inner cosmos. Jesus said, “I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you.” Let’s try and rephrase that so we get how amazingly personal it is. “Jesus is in the Creator, and we, St Peters, are in Jesus and Jesus is in us.” Or “Jesus is in the Creator and I, Caro, am in Jesus and Jesus is in me.” It’s almost like nesting dolls – Jesus is in the Creator and we are in Jesus – but here’s Jesus again, Jesus is in us.

That’s what the Holy Spirit is here to teach us – as we search for God, groping for the living divine, and finding him so too God is coming toward us because God is already around us and in us.

One of the things I dislike about John’s gospel is that Jesus seems to keep going round in circles. I prefer a good logical linear thought. But now I find myself circling - these things cannot easily be expressed in straight lines. As the poet T. S. Eliot wrote,

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

Groping, searching, finding, abiding, loving, then more groping, searching, finding, abiding, loving.

This is our individual spiritual journey. It is also our journey as a faith community. We often interpret Jesus’ words as speaking to us as individuals, and indeed they do, but most often he was talking to his disciples as a group. So, we can also interpret them as meant for us, the Body of Christ whom God has placed in this place, in this time. We are the ones who are called to do the searching and the groping and the loving.

Jesus said, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” And he has two great commandments – to love God with everything you’ve got, and to love your neighbor as if they were your very self.  And we all know that the journey towards a mature, self-giving love takes a lifetime. And in faith community we get to love each other as we go through that journey of joy and heartbreak.

We are the people whom God has placed at this time and in this place to be the ones with whom the Holy Spirit abides. We are the ones who are enough for this moment. We are the ones who are called to be God’s heart and hands in this community.

We are the ones who are called to love our neighbor. And unfortunately, Jesus made it very clear that by ‘neighbor’ he didn’t mean the people you like. By ‘neighbor’ he meant the people you have difficulty with, the people you are prejudiced against, the people who don’t like you. This is so counter-cultural that it’s difficult even now, after 2000 years, to wrap our heads around it. And what better moment to practice this God-inspired loving than when we are living in a deeply divided society with a leader who generates division and hatred.

People of God, this is where the rubber hits the road. In a world rife with anger and fear we get to have peace. As the letter of Peter says, “Do not fear what they fear, and do not be intimidated, but in your hearts sanctify Christ as Lord. Always be ready to make your defense to anyone who demands from you an accounting for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and reverence.”

Do not fear what they fear. We do not need to fear because we know the peace of God. God’s peace is not the absence of conflict, nor is it the peace of conflict resolution, it is the peace which is the very nature of God. It is the peace which underlies all things. It is the peace which we know as we understand that we inhabit the nesting dolls - Jesus is in the Creator and we are in Jesus – yet Jesus is in us. The love of God IS peace.

So our circling is not the anxious pedaling of a hamster in a cosmic hamster wheel, rather it is joining in the ever circling, ever dancing life of the Trinity. Because my friends, that IS our place, just as this is our place, this is our time to love God and our neighbor as ourselves. And we are enough.

the Rev. Dr. Caroline Hall